So do I format this like a Babylon Bee article, or do I go Not The Bee-style? I'm honestly not sure what to do here.
A toddler - yes, a toddler - it has been found out, was suspended from a nursery school in England for being transphobic back during the 2022-23 school year.
A TODDLER!!!!
Yo, Bee writers: sorry, I'm taking your jobs. You're all fired, and you can pack it up and go home, cuz this might be the most real-news-that-should-be-satire story we've ever come across.
From a real newspaper:
Department for Education (DfE) data show the child, aged either three or four, was suspended from a state school in the 2022-23 academic year for ‘abuse against sexual orientation and gender identity'.
We have no idea what led to this suspension, though we do understand how the "adults" in charge of educating our children act these days, so the story wouldn't be surprising if I could tell it to you.
In the Bee version of this story the reason for the suspension is a meme the kid shared on Roblox, the kid serving seven years in an Estonian prison for the crime.
That did not happen, of course, but I regret to inform you that this suspending of children for thought crimes is a trend.
But statistics show that 94 pupils at state primary schools were suspended or permanently excluded for transphobia and homophobia in 2022-23.
These included 10 pupils from year one and three from year two, where the maximum age is seven.
Fortunately, it seems England, and Europe as a whole, are moving past this woke, cut-off-your-kids'-genitals trend, and coming back to reality.
History tells us we in the U.S. are not far behind, but we'll see.
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