Overly sweet? Check!
A hot mess? Check!
A retread of old ideas? Check!
This is a Taylor Swift song in a box.
I can just imagine the marketing pitch for this thing.
Marketing: I've got an idea for a new cereal.
CEO: Okay, what do you have for me?
Marketing: I have two brothers who are NFL players and one of them is the boyfriend of a pop star.
CEO: Pass.
Marketing: The pop star is Taylor Swift.
CEO: Get it done! Get it done now! Right now!!
Marketing: I haven't even told you what the cereal is yet.
CEO: It doesn't matter, you could just toss three of our current cereals in a box and slap a label on it for all I care.
Marketing: Funny you should say that...
That's it. That's Kelce Mix.
The idea apparently sprang from the podcast hosted by the two brothers. Jason Kelce played for the Philadelphia Eagles for 13 years, and Travis Kelce plays for the Kansas City Chiefs and is currently auditioning to be the subject of Taylor Swift's next breakup anthem (scheduled for release sometime in mid 2027).
On a recent episode, they were asked what their top five breakfast cereals were, prompting one commenter to post, "It's official: we will listen to these two talk about anything." Assuming it wasn't staged, they both chose the same top three, Reese's Puffs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Lucky Charms.
[Warning: Language]
I listened to the segment and there's nothing about mixing them all together. Never comes up (that part was likely a General Mills decision).
Sure, they could have just limited the relationship to the Cereal Training Camp marketing campaign - or better, have gone the creative route, spending time, money, and creative energy formulating a brand-new cereal for a market that has not witnessed genuine innovation in decades.
In fact, I wouldn't have minded if this combination at least attempted some clever fusion of flavors carefully blending the three cereals together, maybe experimenting with different proportions to bring out the best of each while avoiding the off-putting notes possible when disparate flavors clash.
Nope! They appeared to have just dumped all three in a box. This is not what a professional cereal company is supposed to do. This is what a four-year-old does at the Holiday Inn Express breakfast buffet when his parents aren't looking. This is the breakfast cereal equivalent of driving, texting, and putting on makeup at the same time.
And it all ends exactly the way you'd think.
These don't even make sense combined. Cinnamon toast with peanut butter and marshmallows? The only rhyme or reason is that these happen to be the Kelce brothers' three favorite cereals. That is not a reason to combine things. My three favorite meals are spaghetti, bacon cheeseburgers, and sushi.
I do not feel the least bit compelled to mix them together.
It's not like there aren't cereal combinations that could be pretty cool. Cheerios with Trix? Could be an interesting contrast with sweet and savory. How about Grape Nuts and Raisin Bran? That could work, just be sure to keep line-of-sight on a toilet.
Seriously.
Line. Of. Site.
Incidentally, there was a "Kelce's Krunch" released a couple of years ago by Hy-Vee, a midwestern grocery store chain to raise funds for a local charity, but even that was little more than a Frosted Flakes wannabe.
The ingredients in Kelce Mix are what you'd expect, with the Lucky Charms being arguably the biggest nightmare (so many colors) and the Cinnamon Toast Crunch coming out the relative star with no apparent artificial colors nor flavors.
As for nutrition, actually not horrible. It's a sugary breakfast cereal, heavy on the carbs, but 3 grams of protein and 3 grams of fiber in 150 calories isn't that bad.
It was with some wariness that I embarked on the actual taste test. 👇
The sense of impending doom envelopes you as soon as you open the box.
I'd be hard pressed to tell you what it smelled like, I can only describe it as unpleasant in the extreme, as if all the flavors are having a knife fight and no one is winning. I had my teenage son give it a quick whiff as well for a second opinion. "That's awful," he said.
As for the taste, well, let's just say that if a carefully composed cheese soufflé can be a symphony of flavors, then Kelce Mix is more an armful of cymbals thrown down a stairwell of flavors. I can't even make sense of it, one crunch you get the cinnamon toast, the next a mix of chocolate and marshmallow, then some peanut butter and cinnamon toast, it's just a mess.
That said, there is one saving grace.
Later that day, after my official taste test, I was looking for a quick snack, ideally a carb chaser for the protein drink I had just downed following a workout. The Kelce Mix was still on the counter and I thought, Fine, what the heck, I don't want it to go to waste anyway.
I started eating it by the handful, picking out individual pieces of cereal and mixing and matching what I wanted which is typically how I eat trail mix. I didn't even realize I was doing it at first, but I was deconstructing the cereal down to it's original components, eating the Lucky Charms bits and marshmallows, the chocolate and peanut butter Reese's Puffs, and the Cinnamon Toast Crunch rectangles, each by themselves.
And you know what? That wasn't bad (because of course it wasn't bad). I don't eat any of these on a regular basis and if given the choice between the three would choose Lucky Charms every time, but none of them are terrible.
On their own.
I also discovered a couple bowls later (I like to be thorough), as I hit the midway point of the box where a higher number of marshmallows had settled, that the marshmallows pretty much ran roughshod over the other flavors making it palatable.
If you're willing to do the work, you can make this thing edible, but it would be way more efficient to just purchase each separately and leave good enough alone.
I should note that I very well may be the minority opinion on this given other reviews I've read and the 4.3 out of 5 stars the cereal is currently getting on Amazon. One reviewer even referred to it as a "A Breakfast Love Story And We Are Saying Yes."
