I dunno where to even begin with this wild story, so let's start with the video.
Do you see my conundrum here?
How in the world do you explain this to someone?
There are a lot of memes but many of them are antisemitic, so I had to pick through them to find the funniest that didn't sound like they were made by a Nazi wannabe. Enjoy a laugh before we get to the deets.
I've had this dang song in my head this whole morning too:
This Orthodox Jewish community is part of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement, a Hasidic organization known for its outreach. Most Hasidic communities are quite insular (think of the Amish, for example), whereas the Chabad movement sees "being involved in the world" and "perfecting the raw materials God provided us" as the reason humans are put on the planet.
This synagogue at 770 Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn is the world headquarters for the Chabad movement. Back in December, a construction crew installing plumbing near the building discovered freakin' tunnels that had been dug around the synagogue.
Why, you may ask?
News reports say it was to "expand" the synagogue, which is the dumbest idea I've ever heard because the Chabad movement has hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of real estate.
This is where there tunnel exited:
That's a headline from Crown Heights Info on December 22.
A Union Street homeowner who spoke with CrownHeights.info said that they had been hearing suspicious noises at night in their home for a period of time. As the noise continued, the concerned homeowner notified someone of the sounds and their suspicion.
Around the same time, construction work was underway placing new plumbing near 770. As the work neared completion, a trench was dug to lay a waterline and the surprised workers were shocked to find what appeared to be a tunnel underground, according to a source familiar with the incident.
Putting the pieces together, one of the workers in 770 investigated and got the shock of his life when he discovered the tunnel, burrowed from the Mikvah on the corner of Union Street and Kingston Ave. The tunnel allegedly extended from the Mikvah under the Kingston Ave women's section of 770, where it exited into the building.
The women's section of the synagogue headquarters where the tunnel exited is called a "mikveh." A mikveh is a traditional bathhouse used for purity rituals. Women would bathe here, for example, before getting married.
In the videos above, the chaos was caused between older members of the congregation - who had called a cement crew to fill the tunnels - and the young men who had apparently dedicated months of their life to building this tunnel!
Maybe you think, as I first did, that these guys were trying to tunnel their way into the women's area.
But apparently the mikvah has been unused for some time.
So what happened here?
Honestly, it sounds like guys being guys with a little bit of Jewish flare.
Why the heck do you think Minecraft is so dang popular?
A bunch of Jewish lads probably saw the opportunity to dig a tunnel and it was the most exciting moment of their lives. I mean, sure, they destabilized a whole Brooklyn block, but what an accomplishment!
(Not sure why there were mattresses in there though...)
I'm sure there will be a lot of dummies who take the bait and spout off about Jewish plots to overthrow Western civilization with tunnels or some other nonsense. The appropriate response is to meme them into oblivion while we wait for more details.
And for you Jewish lads, if you feel that masculine urge to dig and order the world around you, but you live in Brooklyn, maybe go watch a few primitive YouTube builds to scratch that itch until you can move someplace where you can dig as many tunnels as you want!
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