As football season ramps up, insiders report that the Washington Commanders will begin each home game with a ceremonial land acknowledgement to the Redskins. The Washington Commanders have come under heavy criticism recently for refusing to acknowledge the stadium they stole from the Redskins in 2022, but owner Josh Harris has vowed to right all past wrongs against the Redskins by having an intern read a land acknowledgement written by their lawyers to some former players dressed in the old Redskins uniforms. In addition, they will require all betting on the home games to be done in the stadium concession space that has been given back to the Redskins for a casino. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (title headline by @westland619)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Elon Musk Buys Cracker Barrel, Rebrands As X (Formerly Cracker Barrel) @gfanson
Bringing French President Macron Shows Ukraine Is Serious About Surrendering @dontslowtheearth
Panicked Teacher Faces 37.3% Drop In Classroom Genders @kirgol
Husband Really Worried When He Doesn't Even Get An ‘I'm Fine' @ruthiej714
Helpful Grandma Introduces Taylor Swift To Pants @concernedleftist
Cracker Barrel Man Becomes Walmart Greeter @drconservativeprof
South Dakota Democrats Threatens Redistricting Plan For The One Available Seat In US House @thebigfreeze
Cracker Barrel Man Gets Endorsement Deal With Nabisco @twoplus2ischicken
Sydney Sweeney Offers To Rescue Cracker Barrel From Woke Idiots @coachjoeconway
Time Traveler Remembers It Like It Was Tomorrow @baberahamlincoln
Marketing Team Behind Cracker Barrel Rebrand Updates Nike Logo From Swoosh To Straight Line @fishythepenguin
Cracker Barrel CEO Fired For Leaving Racial Slur In Logo @annafillaxis
Cracker Barrel Rebrands Again To Attract Gen Z Customers, Now Skibidi Barrel @alola_rychu
Grok Reprogrammed To Respond To Every Question With ‘Have More Babies' @priehle
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Man Can't Get His Proverbs 31 Wife Off Of Farmville @yantelope
Wife Asks Amazon Driver To Join In Family Photo @lilsebastien
White Players Ask WNBA To Paint 'End Racism' On Basketball Courts @dontslowtheearth
Washington Commanders Begins Home Game With Ceremonial Land Acknowledgment To The Redskins @westland619
Clever: John Bolton Evades Capture By Placing His Glasses On A Walrus @skullcrazes
New Tennis Racket Requires Subscription To Unlock Backhand @sdchuck22
Desperate Empty Nester Mom Asks Neighbor If She Can Borrow A Hamper Of Teen Laundry @flmax
NFL Finally Fixes Racism By Painting 'Kill Whitey' In End Zones @drconservativeprof
Eye Of Soetoro Added To Top Of Obama Presidential Center @annafillaxis
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Introverted College Student Avoids Campus Event As It Literally Has "Social" In Its Name @hellothere
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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