Bee Forum News: President Trump Offers Putin New Jersey

Even his critics are hailing Trump's latest move as brilliant, saying, "Why didn't we think of this before?" as reports have come out that President Trump has offered Putin the state of New Jersey if he agrees to give Ukraine back to the Ukrainians. Putin is seriously considering accepting the deal according to insiders, apparently not knowing exactly what New Jersey is. But that's not all that happened last week!

Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (title headline by @bombtomfill)

Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:

• Husband Asks Wife If His Jeans Make Him Look Like A Nazi @gfanson

• NFL Announces Super Bowl Halftime Show Will Be Sydney Sweeney Standing Onstage @dontslowtheearth

• Dems Hire Group Of Monkeys To Redraw Congressional Maps @kirgol

• Players Warm Up To New Female Umpire After She Makes Them Sandwiches @thebigfreeze

• NASA Makes Stolen Land Acknowledgement Before Building Nuclear Reactor Base On The Moon @annafillaxis

• NY Jews Finally Suspicious When They See Zohran Mamdani's Image Covering The Star Of David On His New Coexist Campaign Bumper Sticker @njhokie84

• Church Installs Calvinist Detectors @twoplus2ischicken

• Female Umpire Brings Juice Boxes And Apple Slices To Game @drconservativeprof

• Feminist Adds "Cats On Board" Sticker To Subaru @baberahamlincoln

• Trump Called In To Broker Peace Deal Between Jasmine Crockett And All White People @ruthiej714

• Study Shows Elderly Aren't Senile They Just Don't Care What Anyone Thinks Anymore @priehle

• Doctor Makes A Killing After Reminding Trans Patients To Get Their Gender Fluid Checked Every 3 Thousand Miles @slinky

• Trump Brokers Peace Between Left And Right Twix @lpathehuman

• "There Is A Special Place In Hell Reserved For Those Who Drive 75 Mph Or Under In The Fast Lane" OpEd By Local Texan @hellothere

• PBS Caught Funding Psyop Elmo In Jeans Commercials To Influence Public Perception @amirfauda

• Man Secures Prenuptial Agreement Stating He Never Has To Fold Fitted Sheets @middleaged_machinist

Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:

• Chicago Welcomes Texas Democrats With Twenty-One Gun Drive By @boomerok

• Man Cave Reduced To Man Closet In New House Redistricting Plan @trooper777

• Woman Claims Her Standards Aren't That High, She's Just Looking For A Handsome K-Pop Star That She Can Sing A Romantic Duet And Float Into The Sky With @alola_rychu

• Donald Trump On Roof Of White House To Talk Eye To Eye With Baron @thebigborkowski

• Man Outsleeping All Peers On Apple Watch @jswag

• 4d Chess: Husband Gives Wife 'Honey-do' List For Her Day Off @chunkylovemuffin

• Female Umpire Won't Let Any Player Get To Second Base On First Day @djcarp68

• Democrats Calling Everyone Nazis Except People Killing Jews @howiescheer

• Donald Trump Offers Putin New Jersey @bombtomfill

BONUS - One randomly selected headline:

• Boomer Gets 1000 Channels But Can Only Figure Out How To Watch "Frazier" @kvnemike

Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!

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